Today's post is a very controversial one.... discipline.... specifically... spanking.
I have found that, for the most part, parents are divided on the subject of discipline. You are either a spanker or you aren't. That's it. For most, its black and white. The "non spanking" realm of discipline can encompass many different methods of punishment. But the most divisive element of discipline, that gets even the most mild mannered parents in an uproar, is spanking.
I will go ahead and put it out there.... T and I are spankers. That is how we were raised and we turned out just fine. We turned out better than fine... we both have a godly love and respect for our parents and we respect authority. Now, I'm not talking about the "go pick a switch off the tree" spanking or the "beating your child with a belt" spanking. I'm talking about the good ole' "warm their hinies" when they don't behave spanking. And for all of you extremists out there, let me please clarify, I am not talking about child abuse nor am I promoting abusing your child. I am talking about disciplining your child, in love, through the form of spanking. I am talking about spanking my child's disobedience and not spanking out of my emotions.
Before we go any further, I want to pose a thought.... why do we even need to discipline our children in the first place? Wouldn't it be much easier to give them everything they want and all live happily ever after? Aside from all of the emotional/social issues that would create for your child, we are commanded by our heavenly father to discipline our children.
Pr 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
Pr 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Pr 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Pr 22:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
What makes spanking better than time out or vice versa? For us it was never an issue. We were going to spank our kids. Maybe its because we were spanked as children. Maybe its because the children that we know who are not spanked but are punished through "time-out" have no respect for authority and ultimately rule over their parents. Look at the condition of our schools now vs 15 years ago when we still had paddling in the schools. Again, let me stress, in my experience, non-spanking methods of punishment do not appear to be as effective.
There is not right or wrong answer to this... and maybe one's method of discipline needs to differ with each child depending on that child's personality. We have not crossed that bridge yet as we still only have 1 child. If you are part of the "non-spanking" school of thought I am not trying to convert you. I'm confident with the method that we've chosen and I"m sure you're confident about yours. What I'm more upset about is that it is not socially acceptable to spank our children anymore.
To be part of a society that screams "freedom" and "1st Ammendment rights", parents are not given the social freedom to discipline their children as they choose. The public is so quick to cast an evil stare my direction when A is misbehaving, but I can't spank him because someone will call child services on me. Even more than that, any type of punishment or lac of results in a dirty look. You have the group that gives you a dirty look for scolding a 2 year old who appears to be having a seizure because he is throwing such a tantrum. If you do nothing, you have the group that gives you a dirty look for not scolding your child. I have my way of punishing at home and my way of punishing in public and the two are vastly different. Only because I will not give someone the opportunity to scream that I am abusing my child for spanking him. Its a no win situation. Its just frustrating.
I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish with this post today.... just food for thought.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I would love to know your two methods (home and out) for spanking for the future. I am pretty sure Ans and I are both on board with spanking. It really is sad that some parents take spanking too far and make the concept seem like child abouse for those who just want to correct out of love. Spank on sister, we could use more kids who respet authority in the world!!
Melanie, AMEN sister! Got your blog from Lindsey's. Your post was encouraging to me. THANK YOU for the scripture and spiritual encouragement. I am with you on all points. Have a blessed day! Love, Garrett Hunter
Denise Glen agrees with spanking and provides lots of scriptual basis for it in her study, Wisdom for Mothers. Her approach was good. Prayer should be involved. You should always use a wooden spoon because your hand is too ready an instrument. It gives you time to cool down while you go get it! Also you don't want your kid to associate your hand with punishment. Your hands are reserved for loving and kindness.
I also have heard other comments that the rod a shepherd used(in biblical times) was never used to hit the sheep, but to "gently lead"...confusing I know. The second theory came from a touchy-feely psychologist who had been abused as a child.
Any how...We've spanking and done time out. Spanking comes for a more serious offense or if time out didn't work. We'll see in 20 years how it all turns out!
Post a Comment